I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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