My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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