whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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