Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize