what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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