All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
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Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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