I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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