so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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