My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
