hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Rumble strips road head = magical
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
