Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
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So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We were destined to go to rehab together
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
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he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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