Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
