Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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