We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
