watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
this boner is exhausting
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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