my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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