it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
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The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
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When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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