there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
