I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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