Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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