they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize