I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
we're making bets on your personal life
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Randomize
