my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
