He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
