Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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