What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
