Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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