I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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