So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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