I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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