yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
