what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
