The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize