so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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