Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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