yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
