We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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