We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
