Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
