I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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