I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
