Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
