Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
