I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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