dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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