What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
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Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
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This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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