Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
