What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize