guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
