Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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