His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Less talking, more tequila
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
