if only i could text you this smell
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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