And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I AM VODKA MAN
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
