I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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