Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
