I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
bring money and cleavage
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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