Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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