Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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