Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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